How To Be Whole Again
We’re all so fractured. The years unraveling the strings of our soul. We didn’t even notice. The fact that we aren’t whole anymore. Going through the day-to-day minutia with a contemplative malaise. Unaware of the wavering percentage of us that continues to fall off each day. Discarded shavings of our life forgotten.
I don’t know when I became less than whole but I assume it was gradual. Or maybe we start as a whole being and wither away until we are just a speck of what we wanted to be. Or what we were. When I look back at my life, at the worst of times, in particular, I can vividly see just how broken I was. How broken I still am.
But I want to be whole again. I want to recapture my soul before it’s too late. Before I don’t have a say in the matter. Before I’m gone.
Stop Giving Pieces of Yourself Away
This is how it happens. This is what we do. We give pieces of ourselves away every day. Self-doubt. Circumstances. Ennui. The fact that life isn’t as good as it could be. If we only did this. Or that. Said this. At that time. Or this. And each time we chastise ourselves for being less than, we give more of us away.
But it’s not just us doing it to ourselves. We give pieces of ourselves away to others. With our children, it’s expected, and it’s also part of our job as a parent. To take away their burdens, we take them on and in so doing, we give a little piece of us away. But it’s not our children that are capturing these small cast-offs of our soul. It’s the others.
We meet someone new. We want them to like us. So we change who we are without thinking about it. They want someone more outgoing so we become more outgoing. They want someone who likes what they like. So we learn about their interests. But a month ago they weren’t even in our orbit. So why are we letting parts of our soul go to please someone who most likely won’t be around in a few months?
We lose ourselves too often. In relationships. In work. And the biggest problem is that once we do, it’s not that easy to get us back. There are things we give up that we can’t snap our fingers and cause to return. It doesn’t mean they are gone, but they aren’t waiting for us either. Because we…